Sunday, November 18, 2012

eventually you have to move

Maybe it's because my life has been a lot crazier, and I haven't had a lot of time where I just want to sit and write things. Maybe I just haven't had a lot of blog-worthy things happen. I've gotten into this thing where there are things I'd love to write about, but they don't need to be in the blogosphere for any random person to see. So I don't write anything. but guys, I can't not write right now. I've put it off, but too much is whirling around now. I should be doing homework. I really just have a lot of feelings floating around right now and I can't settle and I'm listening to epic soundtrack music as study jams and clearly it's not working. oops. I just spent the last hour watching the recap/not-really-livestream-since-it-was-yesterday  video stream from MOVE:DC. and I'm just so conflicted. I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE. I am so so extremely bummed things didn't work out for me to be there and it's eating away at my concentration because I know it was literally the most amazing experience and so world-changing and inspiring and it kills me that I wasn't there. I should have made it happen. I'm going to try to not dwell on it, but it just was such a shot to my heart when I gotten my hopes so high to be going and then it came crunch time and we just couldn't pull it off. Crushed. My concentration was so gone that first week I got the crazy idea in my head to go. I hadn't considered going until the end of October when Invisible Children did a screening at Baylor. I was just so re-energized and inspired by that, that it just made sense to go to DC. and then I didn't and this weekend all I could think about was how I was supposed to be in DC. I mean seeing Baylor crush the #1 team in the country was pretty legit, but not world changing. I went for a run Saturday morning and had Jake Hamilton's "The Anthem" on repeat. I prayed for my friends who were at MOVE:DC and it was all I could do to not want to go crazy listening to that song and thinking about everything that was going on in DC. If you haven't heard the song, I highly recommend it...for lack of a better phrase, it's been my anthem for the past month or so. I'm obsessed.
I JUST WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD. But really. Me going to DC was going to be my little piece in the world changing puzzle. Now I don't know what to do. I want to travel and see the world and experience new things and get messed up for justice. I want to see history in the making. I want to be a part of something bigger than me. I want to MOVE.
There isn't a real point to this blogpost, but I just needed to get that out there. If no one reads this or if you do and think "Okay...that was silly." then so be it. I do care what you think, but not about me. I just want people to care about Invisible Children and stopping Joseph Kony and the LRA. Or if they aren't going to care about about something! Care about something big! You don't have to care about the same things I do, but let's all at least respect each other and don't bash things till you actually do research and have looked into it and know the facts more. I realize this is kind of off topic, but not. People bashed Invisible Children after the whole breakdown after Kony 2012 and people...seriously? We're all human. How quick we are to judge people we don't know. I hate it. Enough on that.
Again, this is a blur of a post with no real point except to get my thoughts out. So love it or leave it. Boom.