Tuesday, December 6, 2011

let's talk about...

how i went running this morning for the first time in over a month,
how it was like 20 degrees out [at least the 'feels like' temperature was that..it was technically 32]
either way, it wasn't actually that horrible of a run.
how now i'm just here trying to get loose ends tied and stupid financial stuff taken care of so I can have all I need for my application for the School of Social Work. That'd be kinda lame if the only reason I didn't get in is because I couldn't get my transcript because of some hold on my account.

let's talk about how I have so much to do and so little time till the end of the semester, till I'm off to Scotland, till I will have little contact with anyone I know and how I'm kinda freakin' out a little.
how I have been prayed over by so many people in preparation for me studying abroad next semester. how lovely that feels to know there are people who are here supporting me through prayer. I believe in the power of prayer. Thank you Jesus.

how I'm not really sure what I was thinking when I thought I'd go study abroad across the ocean where I know absolutely no one and I have so many unknowns related to that. Please tell me I'm not crazy. I'm just going against the grain of my life. I pretty much hate not knowing things and I'm going somewhere where I will probably feel very lonely for the first week or two and uncertain about everything. Being independent isn't something I particularly enjoy either. I like it to an extent, but in the extent that I won't really have anyone to hold on to so to speak while in Scotland, figuring out stuff on my own makes me nervous that I'm doing it wrong or when I can't figure something out I shut down. That's not really a good thing. Obviously, becoming more independent is like the biggest thing that people get out of studying abroad. It will definitely be a stretching experience and I'm probably going to be uncomfortable and unsure a lot, but hey, that's where trusting God comes in. Thank God for God. ha. is that even possible? whatever, I just know that studying abroad is going to be a time where I can't let God get away. Well I can't let myself lose sight of God and push Him to the backburner. I will need Him every day, every moment, and it's going to be a sweet time living life and trusting that God will work things out when things get tough or confusing or whatever. Can I make I sidenote and say that I'm pretty sure this whole semester has grown me like exponentially more than I did last year or at all in high school? Yeah. That's what college is. Win. I think I really like it. I haven't really figured it all out and probably never will, but I'm all about getting closer to Jesus and working at being more like Him and obeying Him and letting Him take control and whatever. It's literally the hardest thing for me, but I'm growing so much and changing into the person God desires me to be, slowly but surely. I'm so excited to look back on college and say, holy cow, I changed so much and it's AWESOME. All that to say, I still have a longgggg way to go.
I'm not sure if any of this blog makes any sense, I think I got totally off topic and rambled which isn't a surprise at all, but ya know. It's cool. more power to you if you made it this far and actually got something out of this.
now i gotta go work on my social work application.

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