more like Jesus

So a good friend of mine wrote me a letter and asked me "Do you ever feel you are trying to be more like other people instead of more like Jesus?" and that really got me thinking. I think that's how I've been living my life, comparing myself to others, wanting to be more like them when I should be wanting to be more like Jesus. Granted, the people I want to be like are passionate followers of Jesus, but I can't just want to be like them; I have to work at being more like Jesus and then maybe when someone sees me they'll see a passionate lover and follower of Jesus, trying to live like Him daily, not live like someone else. Often I find myself dwelling on what I think is wrong with me, my shortcomings and getting all down on myself because I'm not good at this like so-and-so or I'm not as smart as so-and-so. Ultimately, I should be taking my shortcomings and bringing them to Jesus, seeing how I need Him always and that through His grace and mercy, He can help me overcome like He already has. Seriously, I amaze myself sometimes. I know what I'm supposed to do, or well what I should do, what's better for me to do than get all bent out of shape over little things, but I think that I can do it fine on my own or that even if I do believe God can help me and that I need to be always looking towards God, I don't truly believe it. I'm working on that. I've found some devotional books in my room that I've never looked at so I'm giving them a go and so far, I like it. I'm going through this book that's 30 ways to get to know God or something like that. It's short and to the point which I like; I just wish it had more references. Nbd. That's why I can just look stuff up myself in my Bible or on Blue Letter Bible app I have on my ipod. Holler back.
Okay well I just kinda let that all spill out and I'm not sure if it makes sense or anything, but I'm not going to go back and read through it because then I'll end up not posting it. It's not like that really matters because I don't really care how many people actually read this, while it would be nice to get more 'traffic' that's not really my goal. I just want to get my thoughts out there somewhere. If someone reads it and is inspired or whatever then good for them. Yay. Happy Tuesday.